4 November 2015
Electric cubes and gap toothed models
Visiting the Tokyo international motor show
Today I went to the Tokyo International motor show.
I did not book my holiday to coincide with this, these days I am the proud owner of a bus pass and a bicycle, however I thought it might be quite the spectacle and feature robots playing soccer or similar.
Climbing a mountain would have been my number one preference, however I am not quite back to mountain scaling fitness yet, despite drinking 2 litres of Pepsi STRONG ZERO COLA per day.
The motor show was largely Japanese brands, with a few European thrown in, but the vast majority of the display focused on electric or hydrogen cars, cube shaped, with blue lights to show you that they run on electricity.
All of which were presented by models who for whatever reason are uglier than the average girl in the street, or perhaps I dont understand what Japanese business men are looking for in a perving opportunity.
I can assure you that whenever there were girls to be seen, no matter how ugly, the business men would run in panic to get the best photo spot.
Cars with no girls, no people.
Girls doing a half assed dancing routine and miming lyrics about hopes and dreams equated to a dangerous crush of excited salary men.
I took a lot of photos too, so prepare to be horrifically bored.
The show is held at the Tokyo Big Eye. Which is an exhibition centre of 3 halves.
I had read that you can buy tickets at the door.
Wheres the door then? Is this the line for people with tickets or without? Is this a line at all?
I retreated to a convenience store where the girl serving people held up a ticket guessing thats what I wanted.
I went to rejoin the massive line, but it was gone, 5 minutes later, very efficient.
Unlike Adelaide, Tokyo has not banned food trucks for being too popular with the tax paying public.
Girls were dancing here, to herald the arrival of the Mazda RX9, the song featured the words zoom zoom prominently.
Once the dancing stopped I was able to get to the front. This is only a concept, the real thing wont look like this.
The real thing probably wont ever be released due to fuel consumption issues. The rotary engine is designed to consume so much fuel it needs to burn oil at the same time to keep it spinning.
Its the world premiere of the cube shaped electric car! All the car makers must be accusing each other of copying them as every single maker has a cube shaped electric car on offer.
Alternatively you can get an electric SUV.
Nissan decided to not even bother making a concept car and presented this cardboard model instead.
I think its a school project.
Even Porsche has girls standing awkwardly.
No girl on the actual Porsche worth seeing, so no people.
Again, this is the world premiere of the Carrera 4 with the small turbo engine. No girls, no people. Of course it looks exactly like every other Porsche ever made.
Here is the downfall of the European economy. A Volkswagen diesel motor. This software debacle is the reason Germany stopped accepting Syrian refugees, their economy can no longer afford it.
Red bull no longer have a Formula 1 team because the other teams that make their own engines refuse to give them an engine to allow Red Bull to beat them. So Red Bull can sponsor this Volkswagen in the drift world series b grade cup or similar instead.
Audi have decided to make their top of the line R8 look exactly like a base model A4. Because any kind of originality might confuse consumers.
Not sure if this is real or plywood.
Indiana Jane wanted to sell me a Jeep.
A consistent feature across the show was a new breed of golf buggy transporting fruit. Not even joking.
Along with the fruit transport, was wheelchair people transport options. Everyone had them. All the big makers also had wheelchair concepts on display.
I think some of these concepts were aimed at people too lazy to walk, even if they are able.
A huge amount of space was devoted to this with no explanation. Perhaps its the forthcoming Apple car.
Apparently this thing is designed to fire you out the front in case you cant get in or out the side of a car.
Beer time. Asahi. Except it has 0.000% alcohol. It tastes a lot like my socks do after I have worn them for 5 days straight.
The Japanese version of the RAA has decided to put glasses on their models and make them do the most ridiculous dance of all! I had to watch it twice, I felt bad for the models.
An Indian supplier of bolts or spark plugs or similar had a stand, so dressed their Japanese girls in Sari's. This confused the models and the photographers.
Homer Simpson is designing cars again.
There was a 4 hour wait to have a conversation with the micro robot in the foreground of this photo.
Another cube, this time a bus sized cube.
Another electric car, with blue electricity highlights.
Nice diffuser.
This is the BMW M4 CSL, on show for the first time, no crowds though.
Japanese outboard motor maker Yanmar had a few concept cars of their own. Some painted in Gulf colors to get some attention.
No idea why, but British track car maker Radical had a stand. Never seen one before.
Honda cars are now so disappointing, that they have a display featuring electric generators instead, in various fashion colors.
This is the Accura NSX, its been coming each year for the last 10.
It now looks too plain for a car thats still a couple of years away.
People were throwing things at this, the shame of all Japan (Honda)
The Mercedes AMG GT looks smaller than I thought it would. However the length of the bonnet makes it look like Pinnochio.
Not sure if real or fake. They should leave stone chips and bits of rubber all over them if they are real.
These guys are sampling the latest in bus seat technology.
I was hoping the claw on the truck might crush the girl.
Every bus had a girl in front of it.
The photographers really seemed to like these 2.
On the way out, you can marvel at the big saw in the ground.
For lunch I had red miso ramen, which was so hot I burnt my lips until they fused together. Nice though.